seventeenandinsane's blog

Damsons in Distress

2010-09-12T05:27:00.000-07:00

The start of autumn means that now is the season to preserve all the lovely produce from late summer. I'm not lucky enough to own any fruit trees - or have a garden for that matter - but
whilst walking home from work last week, a nice old lady asked me if I wanted to take some damsons from her tree (there appears to be a bumper crop around here this year), so I returned with a bag and spent a lovely sunny evening picking fruit.

It took me another few days to actually work out what to DO with them (other than eat them all). I wanted to make jam, but despite my love of baking, I've never actually made any - it's something my nan has always done incredibly well and always seemed a bit too intricate and messy for someone as haphazard as me.

All the recipes I found said I needed preserving sugar, jam pans, thermometers and funnels. But it turns out it doesn't have to be so professional, just chuck it all in a pan and voila... I made my very first batch of jam made with damsons I picked and the odd left over plum. I've called it 'Damsons in Distress' (I bought labels so I had to call it something!) The recipe is below - and if I can make it, anyone can...

Damson and plum jam recipe
(makes 6 jars)

Ingredients:

1kg of damsons and/or plums (I used about 2:1 ratio)
1kg of sugar
1/2 lemon
knob of butter
1/2 bottle of Certo apple pectin
(I found this in the homebaking bit of my local supermarket)

Materials:

Large bowl
Large pan
6 glass jars
Wax paper discs
Labels (optional)

Preparation:

1. Sterilise your jars by washing them in hot soapy water, rinsing them in hot clean water and then place them upside down in a pre-heated oven (140 C) for 30 minutes. Get them out when you're ready to pour the jam into them.

Method:

1. Remove seeds and stalk from the fruit and chop roughly into pieces (keep it quite chunky if you're a) lazy and b) like bits in your jam)
2. Place fruit into a large bowl and cover with the sugar - stir in until all the fruit has coated (some recipes tell you to leave it in the fridge overnight but, being impatient, I left it a few hours and it seemed to work out fine)
3. Place the fruit and sugar mixture into a large pan - if you don't have pan big enough for all the mixture (bearing in mind you still need to add more liquid), you can make it in batches.
4. Heat the fruit and sugar mixture and add lemon juice.
5. If your mixture starts to foam, add a knob of butter.
6. Bring the mixture up to the boil rapidly and keep on a rolling boil for 2-3 minutes, stirring occassionally.
7. Remove from the heat and stir in the pectin (remember, if you're making this in batches to adjust the amount of pectin accordingly - or use more pectin for a hard set, jelly-like jam)
8. Leave to cool. If you put it into the jars whilst hot, all the fruit will sink to the bottom of the jar.
9. Remove your jars from the oven (using oven gloves, obviously) and leave to cool for a minute, or until touchable. Make sure you don't touch the inside of the jar. Pour your jam in to the jars (this is where a funnel comes in useful if you have one, but you can live without one), place the wax paper circle on top and quickly cover with the lid of the jar.

If you want to check whether your jam will set before putting it into jars, place a plate in the freezer a couple of hours before making the jam. Remove from the freezer when your jam is hot (and the pectin added) and drip a bit onto the cold plate. If it wrinkles up a bit or becomes tacky to touch, this means it will set. If it runs around the plate, you may need to return it to the heat for another couple of minutes before repeating the test.

Enjoy!

Wow Thank You: New website promoting UK handmade crafts launches

2010-03-07T05:43:00.000-08:00

WowThankYou.co.uk, a new website celebrating handmade crafts and promoting the talents of artisans across the UK, launched this weekend.

With over 1,000 products currently on offer, many of which are one-off items, WowThankYou has been set up to encourage you to look beyond the high street and buy unique, home-grown, gifts instead.

Promoting the work of 230 small, often home-based, businesses and artisans – including Fi & Me - WowThankYou is providing an online outlet for artists and crafters who usually only sell through regional craft fairs.

WowThankYou has been set up by friends Tracey Kifford and Georgena Bowdidge who conceived the business concept after failing to find ‘different’ quality gifts online.

“Why import mass-produced goods when we have UK-based talent who put love and care into every item they make?,” say Tracey and Georgena.

Many items on the website utilise vintage materials and upcycling is actively encouraged and promoted – everything from reclaimed wood and recycled silver to designer keepsakes from cherished fabrics.

For more information see: http://www.wowthankyou.co.uk/ or follow them on Twitter @wowthankyou or Facebook.

Craft & Vintage Sunday

2010-02-25T11:20:00.000-08:00

Myself and my lovely sister Fiona will be selling vintage inspired jewellery, crafts and beautifully illustrated cards and stationery at the Craft & Vintage Sunday on 28 February at Broadstone Mill in Reddish, Stockport.

These events will be happening on the last Sunday of every month and they seem to be growing in popularity with each one. It's really good to see something creative and entrepreneurial happening in our home town and we're very honoured to have been invited along!

There will be lots of unique handmade gifts to choose from and, what's more, you can talk to the people who made what you're buying - now, you don't get that on the high street, do you? Plus, you can get your hands on some one-off vintage bargains.

Doors open at 11am through until 4pm and admission is FREE!

Sponsor Me To Shine

2010-02-21T03:10:00.000-08:00

I've never really been one for new year's resolutions; they're usually the same perrenial, unrealistic expectations that inevitably lie in tatters come February.

But, this year, I thought I'd resolve to do something positive and that wasn't purely for my own benefit.

So, I'm taking part in Shine Manchester on Saturday, 17 April 2010 by doing a half marathon night-time walk around the streets of Manchester to raise money for Cancer Research UK.

I'd really appreciate any donations (no matter how small) to help me reach my £150 fundraising target. Whatever you can give would be greatly appreciated and go towards the excellent work that Cancer Research UK does.

You can find out more about the event and the route here: http://shine.cancerresearchuk.org or click on the button below to donate.

P.S. Remember to GiftAid it, ta.

Happy (Belated) New Year

2010-01-23T08:40:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I'm 23 days late... but already 2010 is shaping up to be a good year*:

Reason #1 - Thanks to the lovely Bethan, my jewellery is now on sale until 31 March at Norden Farm Centre for the Arts in Maidenhead.

I have never been to Maidenhead, but my jewellery has. And people seem to like it, so hurrah for that! (This means that my Folksy shop is down whilst I work out how much stock I actually have, but it will be back soon).

Reason #2 - I have lots of fun things lined up like sewing classes at the Minstry of Craft, another craft fair in April, mushroom foraging in Scotland in the autumn, and The Big Knit at the Nexus Art Cafe tomorrow.

Reason #3 - I'm moving (again!) No more mouldy, damp (possibly haunted) house and shuddering windows at 5am as the train goes by.

* Touch wood and hope that the laws of sod and tempting fate don't seek me out and strike me down.

Last fair of the year...

2009-12-18T01:26:00.000-08:00

Where's Christmas come from all of a sudden? It's all been going so fast that I wasn't really sure whether I'd get the time to do anymore craft fairs this year. But it turns out that I do, and I am...
Plus, it's the first one I'm going to be doing ON MY OWN! I'll be selling a selection of my jewellery at the Stockport Market Christmas Art & Craft Fair tomorrow (Saturday, 19 December). We're going to be outside the main indoor market, along with all the usual street stalls. Apparently we'll have pop-up marquees, which I can't wait to see. I'm just praying that it doesn't snow!

If you're in the area, please come along and say hello.

2009 (or the last three months of it anyway) has turned out to be really exciting in terms of making things, meeting other makers and getting some really positive feedback on my work. There should be lots of exciting things coming up in 2010 including more fairs, an exhibition, a new website and perhaps even a few events. So keep watching this space!

Sew Sew

2009-11-22T10:43:00.000-08:00

I've been so busy making stock for craft fairs that I haven't had the chance to put anything online recently! So here's a little bit of what I've been stitching...

Contemporary Christmas Craft Fair

2009-11-06T14:43:00.000-08:00

Our first craft fair went so splendidly well last week, that Fi & Me have decided to do another one... this weekend!!

We're going to be at Fuse Crafter's Contemporary Christmas Craft Fair this Sunday, 8 November at Bolton Market Place Shopping Centre from 11am-3pm, selling our wares.

Pictures of both events will hopefully be coming soon. And more fairs in the near future, hoorah! It feels like things are really starting to take off for us, which is exciting and a tiny bit scary. Watch this space...

Vote The Pud!

2009-10-28T05:17:00.000-07:00

It may be a little early for talk of christmas things but this is with good reason, I promise.

For the last couple of months, myself and some ladies from work have been knitting little hats to go on the tops of bottles of innocent smoothies. Basically we make 'em, send them to innocent HQ 'Fruit Towers', they put them on bottles which then get shipped off to Sainsburys and for every bottle sold, 35p will go to Help the Aged and Age Concern to help them to fund cooking clubs and get-togethers for the elderly.

You can see the fruits of our labour on our Flickr group. Unfortunately being the intermediate knitter that I am, I could only stretch to stripey bobble hats. But my friend Alison 'Needles' Steadman created a wonderful array ski hats, fruits and seasonal themed knits.

We've been waiting to see if her crochet masterpiece - a cascading arrangement of grapes - will make it to the Hat of the Week vote. Alas, it hasn't... but her Christmas pudding hat HAS!

Please PLEASE vote for it here.

It would make her year if she won.

P.S. The hats are supposed to go on sale 4 November, so get buying and keep an old lady warm!

RIP GeoCities

2009-10-15T15:09:00.000-07:00

It was with a twinkle of nostalgia that I read about the demise of GeoCities today. It's not like I've even logged into a Yahoo account for at least eight years, but that's not the point. It's like finding out that your favourite childhood playground's been bulldozed, or that your mum's sold your train set... you may not want to play with it anymore, but the fact that it's gone makes you feel gutted and, well... a bit old.

Like many an internet nerd, GeoCities was where I learnt to make websites. Ok, I'll admit that they weren't very good websites, but we all have to start somewhere...

When I was sixteen, there was no Facebook or Myspace and hosting your own advert-free website cost a small fortune. Instead, the internet consisted of forums and chat rooms and weirdos and endless midnight chats on ICQ with pretty much complete strangers and 'BRB' while I'd go and make another coffee so I could stay up all night making my 'homepage'. 'About what?', you may ask.

About myself, of course! I was not remotely interesting, but everyone else had a homepage about what music they liked, who they loved and generally how angsty they were. Very much like Myspace, actually!

This abundance of apparent pretention that anyone out there cared if you listened to Fiona Apple and could quote bits of Heathers verbatim was also coupled with a lack of understanding of privacy, my own safety and a general flouting of copyright and libel laws.

Plagiarism abounded, as did crappy prose, white text on black backgrounds, tiled backgrounds, marquee text and blinky animated gifs, all of which I hope -for everyone's sake - are long buried along with GeoCities when it goes.

However, for all the rubbish that proliferated our numerous homepages, the late 90s and early 00s were exciting times for someone discovering the internet and realising that the world extended further than one's crappy little northern town.

And it wasn't a completely misspent youth. From making sites on GeoCities and sharing them with people on the other side of the world, I learnt what looked good and what didn't, about standard fonts, web safe colours and so on. I learnt HTML and CSS, which eventually helped me to land my first job out of university and it's knowledge that I still use on a daily basis.

I can't even remember my Geocities URL and I'm sure it'll be long gone by now anyway due to almost a decade of inactivity, but I guess a part of me is also a tiny bit grateful at the thought of someone at Yahoo HQ hitting the giant delete button on evidence of my cringeful teenage narcissism; gladly gone but never to be forgotten.

Jewellery and Craft Fair, October 31st 2009

2009-10-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

I'm very excited about my first craft fair. Me and one of my sisters have a stall at the Jewellery and Craft fair at Stockport Town Hall on Saturday, 31st October. Halloween and craft fair in one day... fantastic! Stockport is our home town also, so it's a kind of fitting debut for the both of us.

I'm going to be selling my jewellery, brooches, cross stitch, embroidery, knitted handwarmers (my current obsession) and a small selection of cards. I really don't know what to expect and am currently swinging between thinking I don't have enough stock to thinking I have too much that no one's going to want to buy anyway, EEK!

Either way it will be FUN and a good learning curve. If you're in the area then pop in to say hello, bring us cake, or buy some unique handmade christmas gifts.

43 Things

2009-08-23T08:21:00.000-07:00

I have been reading a lot about 'digital communities' recently (and, alas, how to get market to them... thus is the nature of my job) including this book by Larry Weber. It's very American in its focus but hey, we're in a global economy and it has opened up a whole new world of websites I may never have heard of to waste my time on.

One of them is 43things.com, where you can make 'life lists' of up to (you guessed it) 43 things you want to achieve. These range from the inane ("get a haircut"), the ludicrous ("be a pimp"), obscure ("laugh along with my wife"), sensible ("set realistic goals") and the sheer brilliant ("milk a cow"), right through to those ongoing epic struggles ("sort my whole bloody life out").

It just so happens that I do love making lists. In fact, I probably spend more time making lists than I do actually doing the things on them. Procrastination to the max. So here for your delectation - in no particular order - are my 43 things "to do".

1. Start a magazine
2. Work for myself
3. Write a novel
4. Do a Masters degree
5. Learn to speak Italian
6. Learn to drive (or more aptly, stick with lessons long enough to pass my test!)
7. Read all the books on my reading list
8. Learn PHP programming
9. Take up yoga and pilates again
10. Spend more time outdoors
11. Live in a foreign country
12. Own a Dansette record player
13. Make my own clothes (I have the sewing machine... which is surely half way there, right?)
14. Go interrailing
15. Learn how to bind books
16. Learn how to screenprint
17. Take creative writing classes (starting in September)
18. Remember how to play the guitar (uh, restring my guitar)
19. Take riding lessons
20. Run a 5k race for charity
21. Interview one of my heroes (one that is still alive, of course)
22. Find somewhere I feel settled and stay there
23. Volunteer
24. Go rock climbing
25. Visit Amy in Japan
26. Go walking every day
27. Be more sociable
28. Visit Amsterdam (again)
29. Finish building my own website (as opposed to building other people's)
30. Live in Manchester (I'm getting nearer...)
31. Plant a tree and watch it grow
32. Visit the Outer Hebrides (should hopefully be doing this next spring)
33. Live a simpler life (chuck out pretty much everything)
34. Climb Snowdon
35. Have my writing published (in Bust or some other equally cool magazine...)
36. Record a podcast
37. Make my own zine
38. Get another cat (keeping the one I currently have, of course)
39. Sing live with a band
40. Find an old school gameboy that still works
41. Exhibit my work
42. Visit New York and San Francisco (I don't care about the rest of the US)
43. Get my own studio space

And then I'll be happy and fulfilled... or something like that.

Best Hand Job In The North

2009-08-23T02:53:00.000-07:00

Long the stuff of Manchester legend and comedy postcards (up there with "Manchester: we're all gay here"), I finally got to realise my life-long dream and experience the city's First Five Minute Hand Job yesterday.

It took longer than five minutes but what it lacks in efficiency, it more than makes up for in double entendres and giggles.

The New Feminism?

2009-08-12T12:39:00.000-07:00

I made a promise to myself that I would never write about the Daily Mail again, but much to my delight - among the usual articles about feminism castrating men, betraying women and generally making the whole world unhappy, I found a truly sensible article by the wonderful Hilary Hazard of super-duper-rollicking-good-read of a magazine KnockBack (subtitle "This is the magazine we made because we didn't like the magazines they made for us").

The statement she makes about enjoying being female is particularly salient. At long last someone has made the point (to Mail readers of all people!) that feminists - or the ones that I know (and in that I include myself) - DON'T hate men. We don't have a sneaking hidden desire to want to BE men. We just want to celebrate what being female means to us individually (which, let's face it, is never really going to be satisfied by a mass media, is it?) and get a bit angsty when we have ridiculous here's-what-you-should-like-now-please-shut-up bull shoved down our throats.

The thing that Ms. Hazard's magazine does so well, and what sets it apart from any other womens or feminist magazine out there, is its irreverance. It's sheer don't-give-a-damn. It laughs at itself, at the situation and at just about anybody who happens to cross the editorial team's path by the looks of it. But what is even better... you can laugh at it to! You can feel good rather than guilty, and couldn't we all do with a little more of that?

It also doesn't hurt that KnockBack is helped along by some nifty design and high production values, all of which make her message to "sort out your websites... get a public profile that women want to be a part of" one that should really be listened to. These ladies know what they're doing, and what's more - with articles in national newspapers and appearances on the BBC - theirs is an approach that appears to be working!

Tiny Things

2009-08-02T05:29:00.000-07:00

I have finally got around to putting some of my new necklaces online. I have a bit of an obsession with very small cameos and charms, flowers and insects right now so there are plenty of them there. Take a look, maybe buy one if you're feeling flush (I certainly am not... and rest assured that any proceeds will go towards the Lucy holiday pint fund! Go on, you know you want to...)

Said holiday is one week in a cottage in North Wales where I intend to relax (if I remember how to), walk up Snowdon and go 'crabbing'. To make things really cosy, we're even taking the cat! Baz on holiday, he really is spoilt to the max. I also intend to make all the cool things I daydream about making when I'm chained to my desk.

I'm currently working on an amigurumi bear, which is quite a tall order seen as I have only just taught myself to crochet (after someone told me it was easier than knitting. I have now come to the conclusion that they were lying!) Things started off badly when what I thought was the head turned out to be the body and it sort of resembles a knitted prophylactic, but it is gradually getting better. I am a big believer in perceverance. And fortunately a big fan of charmingly mutated handmade toys.

Ahoy, me hearties!

2009-07-12T06:27:00.000-07:00

Well shiver me timbers, I seem to have caught the nautical bug which has been spreading like, uh, swine flu amongst every fashionista in the land. However, I have always had a thing for sailor stripes, anchor buttons (rum) and the like, whether its 'on trend' or not, and - as you may have guessed - I do rather like to put my own little spin on things.

The result is two new one-of-a-kind necklaces for my collection with kitschy little sailor-themed magnified cabochons, puffy hearts and tiny anchor charms.

You can find them in my shop, along with other jewellery, cross stitch and cards. My fingers have been very busy this weekend, making six more necklaces featuring teeny tiny cameos, insect charms and sparkly jewels. More to come very soon...

Feminist Shoes?

2009-07-05T09:35:00.000-07:00

I generally just use Amazon for buying books, but after a weekend of hobbling around town on sore feet, the offer of 25% off 'comfortable shoes' reeled me in. (As someone who works in marketing, I'd love to say that I'm not duped by words like 'discount' and 'comfort', but I am only human after all!)

I found a pair of pumps that I liked for a reasonable price, but I'd never heard of the brand (Naturalizer) before, so I thought I'd look them up...

Now, jumping on the feminist bandwagon is not something I expect to see when I shop for a shoe, but apparently as the "suffrage movement had provided women with new-found freedoms and, as hemlines became shorter and shoes became the focus of fashion, Naturalizer symbolized what modern women had achieved."

I'm not entirely sure that having shoes that are comfortable and - gosh - pretty too is quite on a par with women gaining equal rights to men, including the right to vote (or did I just miss the whole point of suffrage? Did I, per chance, accidentally skim read over the bit about the shoes?!)

It is a pet hate of mine when advertisers/marketers use the women's movement or so-called ideas of feminism to sell products. Usually because it is done on the premise that "now you have all this freedom... to spend your money on crap which will make you more beautiful/happy/popular/all of the above." With the added clause of "And you really should do, because if you don't we'll make you feel bad."

I have no problem with benefit-driven marketing, I know how it works. But sell some benefits that actually mean something, not ones that you have just made up. Shoes are shoes. They are not political, they are not a statement, they are not symbolic of freedom from oppression (other than, perhaps, from the tyranny of blisters!), and they are definitely not something for which women lost their lives!

Needless to say, I probably won't be buying their shoes.

Greatest Dancer

2009-06-28T04:38:00.000-07:00

Every time I turn the television on I keep seeing Earth Song and not enough good, dance-around-my-living-room MJ! And although Thriller is ace, I think it's a bit overrated. If you've got a spare ten minutes then watch Smooth Criminal all the way through. Best song, best video and definitely the best choreography!

Obey the mug

2009-06-21T10:34:00.000-07:00

My new favourite mug. It can fit a good 2/3 of a pint of tea in it! I like the sentiment too. Buy it here, share the love.

Yarnbombing!

2009-06-07T04:05:00.001-07:00

The best way to describe yarnbombing is probably 'knitted graffiti'. It can be anarchic, witty, expressive and fun, but not the least bit as disruptive or antisocial as its older, more notorious relation. If nothing else, it brings a little bit of comfort to a world that is generally, well, not that comfortable right now!

The practice began in Texas, but has rapidly spread across the globe covering buses, trees and lamposts (among other everyday objects) in wool. Now it has come to Manchester's Craft & Design Centre, where Salford-based Art Yarn have established a growing installation (or 'yarnbomb') called Yarn Forward.

Strip by strip they are covering the upstairs handrail with unique, brightly coloured and often fantastical crocheted and knitted designs. But it doesn't stop there. Where ever you look - from banisters to bike racks - there is some little bit of wool keeping it cosy.

You can post your entries in, so you don't even have to be in Manchester, the UK, or go to the Centre to take part (though I would highly recommend it, they have very scrummy cake!)

Here's how to take part:

Knit or crochet a strip to measure 7cm wide x 40 cm long. Any colour, yarn and technique is accepted, the brighter and wackier, the better.

Write a small note stating your name and location. This then gets put on a little label and is attached to your work so everyone knows who made it.

Send it to the following address:

FAO Kelda Savage
Manchester Craft & Design Centre
17 Oak Street
Northern Quarter
Manchester
M4 5JD

Or drop them off in person to the office on the 1st floor.

A sneak peak of my first contribution:

Please excuse the freestyle over-stitching. Apparently they look like 'computer hearts', but I think that might just be a diplomatic way of saying 'rubbish'. Either way, I kind of like them.

Happy stitching!

Rain, Rain Go Away

2009-06-06T10:41:00.000-07:00

I didn't even have to get out of bed this morning to know that more jolly romps in the countryside were a big no-no. Instead, I went exploring Manchester, rediscovering my favourite places and things, like the echoey Central Library, side streets off Oxford Road and sitting with Alan Turing (well, his statue) in Sackville Gardens.

Memorial to Alan Mathison Turing, 'Founder of Computer Science'. Sackville Gardens, corner of Sackville/Whitworth Street

Lone Space Invader, behind the Palace Theatre, Whitworth Street

I also did a spot of shopping, but unfortunately my eco-friendly paper carrier bags disinegrated in the onpour and I had to stuff a pile of clothes into my bag, which made me look rather like a filthy shoplifter.

There were a lot of people wearing wellies who, I can only assume, were on there way (via several pubs) to Heaton Park for the Oasis gig. Many of them appeared to be drawing phalluses on each others' shoes. It was all rather odd, but each to their own I guess.

I also spotted a lot of these:

Sun Day

2009-05-31T11:04:00.000-07:00

The usual response when I tell people that I live/work in Cheshire is 'ooooh, posh!' or 'ooooh, with the footballers?', something along those lines. Just to clarify, I am neither rich nor a WAG. I did, as it happens, spend Saturday afternoon drinking in the sunny garden of an Alderley Edge pub whilst Ferraris and Bentleys drove by, but this is far from typical behaviour. I am just a poor imposter who likes to people watch.

Really, I think that Cheshire has a bit of a bad rep. Sure, there are footballers, mansions, fast cars, people with more money than taste and all that nouveau-riche tossery. But there is also a lot of beautiful, peaceful countryside that surrounds it all.

So yesterday, in search of something better, I went exploring Bosley Cloud (something I've been meaning to do for the last nine months!) It is 1,125ft hill on the borders of Cheshire and Staffordshire and gives 360° views of green fields, lakes and distant towns. Manchester appears just a little geographic anomaly on the horizon and for once I didn't resent feeling a million miles away from the city.

The landscape on this one hill is so varied; from the steep rocky climb up there (aptly called the 'Gritstone trail') through dense, scorched bracken that gave me that feeling of being somewhere foreign - whilst only being 30 minutes from home - and creepy woodland full of dead and disembodied trees, to flowery meadows that bring you right back to where you started out... and through which I was convinced to 'frolic' for photographic opportunities (see below).

All in all a lovely day and a welcome escape from the usual day-to-day grind of work/commute/sleep/repeat. Isn't it funny how everything looks sort of happier in the sun?

Today I have mostly been dressed like a cartoon character...

2009-05-17T10:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, whilst rooting through piles of vintage tat in Manchester, I came across this awesome red t-shirt/dress/nightie with a pastel pencil embroidery design. It's ace and reminds me of Penny Crayon, she used to draw stuff that came alive and could rub it out to make it go away, which I used to think would be THE best super power.

Continuing my love of bright colours and as two fingers to four days of RAIN - it's spring don't ya know?! - I have been making lovely little felt badges based on my favourite thing (TEA!) and jingly-jangly charm bracelets full of candy coloured buttons.

As my life gets increasingly more stressful (and I approach my quarter century!), I seem to have spent the last few weeks regressing to a sort of childishness where I want to roll around and get my knees dirty, play with felt and buttons, and avoid tidying my bedroom at all costs. Ok, so that latter one may be a permanent fixture, but you get the picture. Where my 8.30 to 5.30pm hours are spent trying to be terribly 'grown up' and 'responsible', I like to fill my 5.30 - 8.30am trying to have fun (and sleeping, of course). So I make things...

There is something so simple and unpretentious about just making things with my own two hands that really appeals to me. I am creative, but I'm not artistic, so I know am never going to be a great artiste. But I was taught by my parents and grandparents to sew, knit, draw, mold, paint and basically just get my hands stuck into anything that would keep me busy, quiet and out of trouble for an afternoon. Twenty odd years on and it still works for me!

More Tea?

2009-05-10T10:22:00.000-07:00

Today I made two new necklaces based on two very British obsessions. Tea and rain.

I even discovered that we have our very own Tea Council, whose website - incidentally - features a picture of a woman having a bath in a human-size cup of tea (or maybe she's supposed to be tea-cup sized? who knows!) Is it me, or is that just a bit weird?

Robots Are Our Friends

2009-05-03T03:00:00.000-07:00

For Beth, with love. x

Hello My Little Ball of Wool

2009-04-19T08:34:00.000-07:00

I am supposed to be doing coursework. So, in a long-standing tradition of procrastination, I thought I'd make some more cards instead!

I have this thing about preserving nice text messages in illustrations, and this one came to mind instantly when I got a message from Simon saying "hello my little ball of wool, how are you?" (I like to knit, we don't just have stupid cutesy pet names for each other for no reason ya know!)

So today, armed with my new pro markers, some card, a craft knife and what was left of my printer ink, I set about making my illustration into a set of cards. Et voila!

It's amazing what you can do with a Sunday afternoon, a little imagination and a pathological aversion to deadlines.

Love Birds

2009-04-11T08:15:00.000-07:00

I know that the first day of spring was some while ago, but I've either been too wrapped up in my busy little world to notice, or it just hasn't felt like spring until today. So, I decided to make the most of the sun and get a little bit creative in my garden...

I've been wanting to do lino-cut printing for a while. It's slightly more sophisticated than potato printing and runs slightly less risk of me injuring myself than wood-cut printing. The design is based on a charm I have, and is printed in turquoise acrylic or yellow oilpaint. The latter was a bit of an accident, but it makes for an interesting texture. I am happy/pleasantly surprised with the results!

Staying on the springtime theme... being awoken by bird song every morning seems to have snuck its way from my subconscious into my jewellery designs as well recently.

All will no doubt be on my Folksy shop sometime soon, but for now I'm going to do like my cat and go lounge in the sun. Happy Easter!

Boredom + Adobe Illustrator =

2009-03-20T16:43:00.000-07:00

Somehow, my job seems to have become one long data entry task, which I am - I regret - doing at home on a Friday night. I am a girly swot. The system takes about 30 seconds to think about everything I ask it to do, so in the downtime I have been illustrating song lyrics.

Daddy B Baracus

2009-02-22T05:08:00.000-08:00

What's the point in having a cat if you can't dress it up us a member of the A-team every so often?
Yeah, he loves it...

Next week, 'Howling Mad' Murdock.

Genius

2009-02-06T14:38:00.000-08:00

Best. Website. Ever.

I can't believe I've never seen this before.

Apologies if you have already.

How many things can you say about snow?

2009-02-02T08:07:00.000-08:00

1. It's white

2. It's cold

3. It melts

4. You can make things (-balls, -men, etc...) with it

5. It's fun to throw at people

Simple, right? Yet it seems to have warranted endless media coverage on the matter. Snow falls in England. Wow, that's like... rain falling in Manchester!

The strangest thing I have read on the subject was that David Cameron and Carol Vorderman "enjoyed a playful snowball fight" outside the Houses of Parliament (I couldn't possibly say who I'd like to hit more). All in the name of maths, it turns out.

Well, I am glad that someone is out having a jolly good time frolicking in the snow. Where as I am just staring out of the window at it, hoping that I can find my way home... and that it snows sufficiently for me to work from there tomorrow!

The importance of proofreading

2009-01-28T04:23:00.000-08:00

I just found this in an email from the Institute of Copywriting:

"And the best thing is, it has a full money-back guarantee, if you're absolutely delighted."

Yes it's great, thanks... but I'd like all of my money back.

Hmmm, here's an idea. Why don't you get your copywriter to go on one of your courses?

Life's just Peachy!

2008-11-29T07:34:00.000-08:00

The women where I work seem obsessed with the Daily Mail website. At first, when they kept mentioning it, I thought that I'd perhaps started working with a load of hysterical-right-wing nutters. But, as it turns out, the Daily Mail is not just the last bastion of all that is wrong with middle-England, but a treasure trove of celebrity gossip! Who'd have thought it? The Daily Mail writing about WAGs, Hollyoaks, and (shock horror) lesbians. Try as I might to pretend I am above such tittle-tattle, one such article did catch my eye yesterday: Peaches Geldof's magazine column sparks hail of abuse by that old hack The Daily Mail Reporter (have they never heard of bylines at the Daily Mail?!) Ever one to read the misfortunes of someone younger and more successful than I, I read on.

Now, I like Nylon magazine. I buy it at the extortionate Comag import price because it represents the kind of women's magazine that is sadly lacking in the British market. There is real journalism in its pages, thoughtful reviews, some fashion/styling advice but always done with boundless creativity. There are no sex or weight loss tips and they, more often than not, carry interviews with the kind of witty, independent-lady actors and singers that I like. I vaguely remember seeing Peaches' face a couple of issues ago and knew she was involved in their website but had never had the joy of reading her enlightening musings on life, travel, fashion and music.

I tried, I really did, to read her columns (1 and 2) with an open mind. After all, Nylon > Daily Mail in both the cool and sensible stakes. I trust the editors of one of my favourite magazines to exercise the same good judgement they do in putting the rest of their magazine together. But in this instance, unfortunately they have got it so so very wrong.

Granted, she is a teenager, and pretty much all teenagers go through a period of writing cringe-worthy prose that relies on cliches (I know I did). London is all 'cobbled streets', everyone wears 'plaid' in America, all that is cool is 'vintage', everyone cool is her 'best friend', etc. But most teenagers don't get deemed worthy of a column in an uber-popular magazine. Hell, most of them don't even get deemed worthy of making the tea! Then again, most of us don't have Sir Bob for a dad (though I kind of wish I did as I happen to be one of three people who quite like the Boom Town Rats).

This may sound like sour grapes and, in a way, it is. Because, for anyone who has ever dreamed of being a writer, seeing people who can't write very well get published is a tad frustrating. The editors of Nylon should know that a large part of their readership think themselves marginally cool, creative, perhaps even a bit talented, and that they aspire to people with real talent, which is why, I assume, they aren't like every other stupid magazine. Therefore it is obviously going to piss a few people off if you publish some badly written, badly edited fluff written by someone largely famous for being famous.

I'm not saying that she shouldn't be a writer, write away to your heart's content. But take some classes first and practice practice practice. If I submitted such lazy writing on my journalism course I would have been reduced to tears and my work set on fire (only a slight exaggeration about the fire bit, the tears are true). In fact the start of her first article reminds me of my first class on feature writing where we were told to go sit somewhere and 'set the scene'. But then you move on, get deeper, and that's the bit she doesn't seem to have grasped yet.

Perhaps Nylon's editor-in-chief should stop "strumming his guitar" and think about giving opportunities to people with real talent and interesting stories to tell.

I really do hope that Nylon readers know that this so-called 'British Invasion' of Lily Allen, Peaches Geldof, Amy Winehouse, et al is representative of the UK. Cause it's about as accurate as Dick Van Dyke doing an English accent!

Taxisdermaphobia

2008-11-01T02:55:00.001-07:00

Happy (belated) Halloween.

The walrus is as tall as the ceiling and as wide as the wall. I am small, tiny, barely five years old and a few feet tall. To this day I wonder whether he was quite as large as I remember for the purposes of my tale, but to my mind he was the largest being that I could comprehend.

He doesn’t say anything but just sits there lazily in his box with that blue lining that appears to wallpaper all similar boxes. Perhaps it is there to remind him of the sea, along with the fine layer of sand and shell scattered about below him like a seaside holiday scene. He stares straight ahead with the diligence of a soldier standing to order, solemnly sworn not to move an inch. Even dancing around in front of him, or breathing on the glass to write ‘hello’, does not raise a reaction, not even a bat of the eye. His long yellowing moustache droops down like an old man’s and his brown leathery skin betrays the telltale liver spots of age. Maybe one hundred years.

I do not think that I truly comprehended that he was dead, because he was sat up with his eyes open, which defied my five-year-old definition of death, and I was far too young to concede such a point. So we sat for a half hour in a harmonious arrangement where I told him about myself and he just listened.

My younger childhood was spent being hauled from one appointment with a walrus (or a crocodile, a polar bear, a gorilla, a sheep) to another in daunting, crypt-like museums and sprawling stately homes. Someone should have warned my parents that such educational generosity was bound to have an affect on the psyche.

Mine finally snapped one day in Noah’s Ark. Two by two of every animal you could ever imagine had been, decapitated, hollowed out, packed with sawdust and mounted on a wall in a colossal homage to the Victorian love of trophy hunting. Giraffes’ necks stretched long and taut with all the litheness of a plank of wood. Great majestic cats, leopards and lions and tigers, snarled sinister sharp-toothed smiles with eyes that lacked all the necessary animal instinct. Antlers protruded in irregular angles from stags, wilder beast, a giant moose, plus the giant spiral horns of the gazelle and springbok. Birds paused mid-flight with wingspans spread in full beat.

But the worst things were always the eyes, eyes everywhere; anatomically correct in the finest minutiae. Those glassy, vacant eyeballs that gaze, into the distance wetly, fearfully, silently imploring you for freedom from their eternal corporeal shell. I would rather think of them fetid and rotting down, full of organs and death, going back into the earth, rather than being reformed in a kind of man-made semi-nature. Some dignified man’s prize reminder of the natural order of things. The ultimate insult is, surely, to not let a thing die a death but to make it live on in oblivious humiliation on your wall, in a place it would never have experienced in its natural life.

This mortal, albeit animal, crisis impacted on my being so much that it all but refused to cooperate with the situation. My body collapsed first. My head curled into my chest and my legs curved up to meet them at the point where my breath stopped flowing and my heart blood congealed in a gooey panic. Then my eyes screwed shut in some kind of ineffectual act of sympathy for all the fake ones that surrounded me. If they could not, I could not see, and I simply would not open my eyes until someone picked me up and dragged my lifeless body away from my waking nightmare and into the light.

In the light I am safe from my fear. These grim beings do not live in the bright or the outdoors. They live in glass cabinets in dimly lit rooms and occasionally on the walls of galleries and bars, waiting to surprise and embarrass me in company with my phobia that has no name and apparently no other sufferer than myself (believe me I have looked).

I search for a name so I don’t feel so... odd. If there were an official register of phobias then I would lobby them for a classification. I would ask them to tell me that I’m ok. But until then I make up my own. Taxis comes from the Greek for "arrangement", Derma from the Latin for "skin". This would mean that I am afraid of arranged skin, which lacks the necessary meaning because I am afraid of death, and fur, and animals and reanimation and size and scale. I am afraid of man’s need to claim what is dead and own its form. I’m afraid of this egotism and its giant hairy manifestations that assume to be something they are not.

In the pub where I sit, there is a small head on the wall, a fox or a small sharp-eared dog. Moths have bitten away its form so much it’s hard to tell. The fur is chafed away almost to skin and stuffing, like a teddy bear worn down to the weft. Loved to death, is the phrase that springs to mind, though more likely shot to death and kept as a bit of fuzzy memorabilia. Or perhaps he died of natural causes and someone thought enough of him in life that they wanted to preserve him in death. Like I say, it’s hard to tell.

I surprise myself because I can look at him; he is the only one I can face off. Though he is wearing a large pair of sunglasses over whatever little beady glass eyes may be fitted into that space where his eyes would once have been, so I am cheating myself.

I feel like I am being strong, overcoming my fear. But I know that if he were to take off the dark spectacles then I would once again stare into the same hollow, viscous blackness that steals my breath and strangles my arteries and makes me ask myself the terrible question, what must they do with all those eyes?

Things I miss

2008-09-26T12:40:00.000-07:00

... about working in Higher Education

I recently started a new job (yes somebody finally employed me) as a Content Editor for a company that represents small businesses so now I'm working in B2B communications - that's business to business, for anyone who doesn't understand silly marketing jargon. Thus ending my two-ish years of working for universities (more B2C, if you didn't know).

I have to admit, it's a little different to what I'm used to and as much as I am looking forward to perhaps doing some meaningful, measurable work, I began to realise that for all my moaning about bad organisation, over-management, and never really being able to get anything done... there is a quite a lot I took for granted about working in HE. Such as:

Massive training budgets - Want to go on a £400 one day Flash course? Not a problem. Want to spend two days listening to someone tell you how to write? Not a problem. £900 to send you on a Dreamweaver course when you already know how to use it? Indeed. £150 train ticket to London? Of course! Now I know where my fees went...

Equally big confectionary budgets - In universities every meeting seems to have a biscuit, offices have cake, training courses have numerous tea breaks (what you'd expect for your money!) and complimentary mints. Some meetings I would go to for the biscuit choice alone.

Deadlines that aren't really deadlines - And looking particularly impressive when you get something done, shock horror, before deadline because "don't you know this is a university... we never do things on time".

Meetings about meetings - The main culprit for nothing ever getting done, but a good way to while away a Friday afternoon.

Dress-down every day - I spent two years working in university marketing departments without ever hearing the phrase 'dress code' or the request to stop wearing jeans/take my piercings out/stop dying my hair bright red.

Getting mistaken for a student - Going straight from graduation to a job is an unsettling experience enough, so being mistaken for a student (and benifiting from their numerous discounts) was a nice way of easing myself in to the world of work.

The libraries - Free access to thousands of books... I generally have to pay for them now, or make do with council library offerings.

Full internet access - with Facebook and everything. Not that I'd ever abuse my privileges, of course...

Flexi-time - come in when you want, leave when you want, just make the hours up somewhere in the week and everyone's happy!

Mind The Gap

2008-08-26T08:00:00.001-07:00

My life is in a state of limbo at the moment. I no longer live in Edinburgh, I'm back in South Manchester waiting until I can move into my new house in Cheshire. Being from Stockport I have always been able to claim, postally at least, that I was in Cheshire. However Stockport isn't really Cheshire... it's 'Greater Manchester', that hazy grey area that borders numerous counties but lays unclaimed by pretty much everybody. From the 3rd of next month I shall most definitely be in Cheshire.

I have been spending my half-unemployed days (I have freelance work which doesn't really feel like work as I can stay at home in my pyjamas and do it) re-learning how to knit, filling out a million plus one job applications, contemplating a career change so many times I think I ended up back at journalism, and reading a ton of books I got out on my rediscovered Stockport Libraries card.

The summer reading list looks a little like this:

If This is a Man/The Truce - Primo Levi
The 39 Steps - John Buchan
Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
Dream Angus - Alexander McCall Smith
The Tent - Margaret Atwood
Moderato Incantabile - Marguerite Duras
Weight - Jeanette Winterson
The Life of Hunger - Amelie Nothomb
The Third Man/The Fallen Idol - Graham Greene
Breakfast at Tiffany's - Truman Capote
The Moon Opera - Bi Feiyu
Bitch Lit - Maya Chowdry (ed.)
Eating Myself - Candida Crewe
Man Walks into a Room - Nicole Krauss
When I Was Five I Killed Myself - Howard Buten
The Old Man and the Sea - Ernest Hemingway

I have a pile of about the same number to go.

Because everything is so up in the air , I'm of no fixed abode and half my life is in storage it is hard to know what I'm doing. It's hard to pick one thing that I want to do and run with it. Though one good thing about being back here is the sense of being 'home'. Even if it has involved a nostalgia trip of horrible school days and cringeing at things I wrote when I was thirteen.

Edinburgh was beautiful but perhaps a little too beautiful. Having only lived in industrial northern towns I was a little untouched by the apparent 'culture' of the place. It was like some unattainable level that I couldn't reach, I never truly felt as though I 'fitted in', and the fact that I wasn't enjoying such a beautiful city ("how can you not love it?" people would cry) made me feel worse further still.

So I'm pretty sure that moving was a wise choice, but what now..?! That is the exciting bit I guess. I have a list of projects as long as my arm to get started on. Now if someone would just like to give me a job to fund them, that would be great...

Greetings from (Gloomy) Edinburgh

2008-06-18T13:34:00.001-07:00

DSCF1088, originally uploaded by heavypetal.

It's sunny here sometimes, I swear!

Well this is very convenient, posting photos from flickr to blogger. Whatever will they think of next? (I feel like some mistrusting technophobic middle aged person, I feel like my mother!)

My flickr account (heavypetal, find me... I have no friends and I'm not entirely sure how you go about acquiring them), much like this blog in fact, has been long established but seldom used. Until now, hurrah, when I have actually got round to uploading some photos. It would seem I only really take pictures of three or four types of things anyway. These are (in no particular order): graves, cats, trees, castles.

I'm not quite sure what the fascination is with any, they just always seem to find their way in front of my lense.

Flickr

2008-06-18T13:13:00.001-07:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

This is a test

2008-03-05T10:25:00.000-08:00

Testing testing, one, two, three...

I have somehow managed to make my blog look (sort of) like my website.

First Post

2008-01-25T04:17:00.000-08:00

Imaginative title, eh?

Well this is a blog I've created to go with my website www.seventeenandinsane.com

About me: I am a 23 year old Edinburgh-based freelance writer and web designer. I moved up here from Sheffield in August 2007. Yes I'm one of those people lured up by the festival and then it slowly dawned on me that 'bugger, I can't actually find a job'. Still, not one to be deterred I have decided that if no one is willing to give me an opportunity I will make one myself. I'm very enterpirising like that. Maybe it's coming from the home of industrial revolution that is Manchester, it's in my blood to be a work-horse.

I guess that this is a way for me to track my progression really and share (or receive, please) any tips on being a jobbing writer/designer and setting up a small (very small, tiny) business. It's also somewhere for me to write, mess around with ideas and post inspiration.

I can't promise it will be very interesting to start with but keep watching, it should get better.